Maybe you fancy some culture in literary form...?
Authors who rock include Robert Rankin (anyone who can find that much humour in Brentford (just down the road) is to be applauded wildly) Robert Anton-Wilson and Tom Holt.
Or mayhaps you're feeling musical?
My faves are The Smiths, The Cure, The Monkees, Flanders and Swann, They Might Be Giants and The Divine Comedy although I am currently enamoured with The Ben Folds Five.
Otherwise, Why not go play with an extensive lego collection or go to be easily amused.
Of course, you could decide to depart for the delectable House of Mayonnaise
Oh... and here's a link to the only page that I could find with the words "lyposuction" and "lint" on... (other than this one, now, obviously ;) )